The Mystery of Dildo Blvd
Oh those fun loving Australians. This story reminds me of the opening scene in the heartbreaking and lovely book, Plays Well With With Others and to a lesser extent Chuck Palahniuk‘s, Survivor. (not his best work IMHO). The scenario presented by Allan Gurganus is a very plausible explanation of how so many dildoes could end up in such an unexpected place.
actual photo from Dildo Blvd.
Stiff response to sex toy mystery
NICK CALACOURAS | www.ntnews.com.au | February 8th, 2009
RESIDENTS in the rural area have renamed their street “Dildo Boulevard” after 30 sex toys were found lying in front of a house on Friday morning.
Robert Johns and Laurelle Bates discovered the mysterious toys as they left for work in the morning.
“It’s a real mystery. We have no idea where they came from,” Ms Bates said.
“I know they aren’t new. They look used.”
But this is Darwin, home of the Hookers Ball!
Mr Johns said he counted the sex toys on Friday morning, and the number had decreased within 24 hours.
“Yeah, some of the bigger ones are gone,” he said.
Many of the devices are still lying outside the Osbeck Rd home – most crushed under the wheels of passing cars.
Locals have been puzzled by their sudden appearance and are trying to solve the curious case of the invading sex toys.
One theory is that it is an elaborate – and expensive – practical joke. Another school of thought is that they fell off the back of a delivery truck.
Some said the sex toys could have been inside somebody’s rubbish bin, and fell onto the street on Thursday night when the garbage was collected.
Neighbour Camilla Cappa said the sex toys were a curious addition to the rural area.
“There were all different kinds. Some were different colours. One was like a banana,” she said.
“I had a child in the car. He just thought they were firecrackers.”
Within hours of the sex toys appearing, a resident replaced the street sign – changing it to “Dildo Boulevard”.
“I just cracked up. It was very entertaining,” Ms Cappa said.
“I don’t know where they came from. This is the strangest thing.”
Another neighbour, who wished not to be named, said she spotted the strange items on her usual morning walk.
“It’s not the usual thing you see around here,” she said.
“I think someone might have done it as a joke.”
Although some are starting to go missing, Ms Cappa said many of the sex toys were still on the street.
“Who is going to pick them up? If you pick them up, you claim ownership. If you own them, you’re desperate,” she said.
It has been said that the brain is our (human’s) largest sex organ; alas, Ms. Cappa may prove this to be untrue. ” ‘If you own them, you’re desperate,’ she said.”
If having a sex toy equates to being desperate, does this apply to all animals with opposable thumbs? I assure you that my hand was my first sex toy…and one (or two) that I still have today.