Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 2-Electric Bugaloo
There’s apparently a large market for Halloween costumes that feature a man’s wedding tackle.
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 1 featured wiener themed classics like the flasher, the breathalyzer and historical themes.
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 2-Electric Bugaloo shows there’s a costume for almost every ethnic derivation that wants to creep out the party by calling attention to their private parts. As racially insensitve and offensive as these costumes are none pay homage to the, uh, biggest stereotype in the manhood category.
Longuini and meatballs
The Italian Stallion Dream-on-Dude costume. Like the Breathalyzer in Dicks Part I this costume appears to ride a little high. The idea of someone having edible genitalia is as unnerving as genitalia that floats above the navel. And the curve, the curve is unsettling. This could also be the costume for closeted “Kenny Curvecocks” who want everyone to know penises are like snow flakes, no two are alike. I’m shocked this didn’t have a tuft of chest hair tangled in a gold chain above the t-shirt and a “fuhgedaboudit” button on the apron.
Snake Charmer
The Hindi Dream-on-Dude costume has the icky snake factor on top of the creepy-guy-long-johnson-dream vibe. This is so awful, where do I start? Imagine being on the dance floor and feeling this bump into your back, ewww. Now imagine a lech using the snake to poke up underneath skirts. Look at how the model is leering, is he enjoying wearing this? The only way it could have been more offensive is if the model had darkened his skin. The only good thing about this costume is it promotes ethnic diversity in creeps and the prop is appropriately placed.
Dream of Genie
More ethnic diversity in creeps. The Persian Dream-on-Dude costume is less creepy because it’s less visually literal than Longuini or Snakecharmer but the RUB ME command just smacks of bad touch. This costume looks poorly engineered and badly made. The handle will prevent you from sitting and that crappy foam will crease and fold. Bad bad bad bad. Even the model looks sheepish and ashamed to be wearing this tasteless, ugly piece of crap.
The Big One
The Dream-on-Dude costume for fishermen, or guys with a piercing. This is very similar to the Snake charmer but it’s way less offensive. Could it be fish aren’t spooky? Or that this costume lacks racial undertones? I can totally see old white guys in middle management wearing this. Oh god, your boss wants to tell you the story of the one that got away.
Ringtoss
The Dream-on-Dude costume for carnies! The worst part of this costume is it could be a lot of fun. This costume actually encourages playfulness and promotes interaction, not just a shocked scream and scuttling away. I mean you’re not playing horseshoes, the wearer can thrust and jump and try to help catch the rings. On the right guy, at the right party, this could be a scream. This costume can also be called “My First Strap On.”
Come back again and check out Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 3, “that’s not punny.”