Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 3-Thats Not Punny
To educate readers on the the great pantheon of penis-centric costumes I’ve brought you.
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 1-In the beginning for the origins and historical takes on the theme
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 2-Electric Bugaloo which highlighted the many ethnic flavors of wiener-centric costumes
and now I present
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 3-That’s Not Punny
In the great gallery of dick costumes, the double entendre is well represented. These walking puns are less offensive and obvious than other costumes but not all puns are created equal.
Blow Me Bubble Gum
Suggested oral sex is much sweeter than simulated oral sex. However, this costume would be even less threatening if it were “Would ya please” brand instead of the far more direct and downright rude BLOW ME. Though not creepy this costume and the rudeness and implied stickiness is plain icky.
Down For the Count
Ha ha ha, get it? Down for the count is a sports term, ha ha. The inflatable chick is surprisingly comfy to wear while dancing or seated but is no good for driving a car. Is this guy bare legged or is he wearing pink tights? This costume demonstrates the wearer will have sex with inanimate objects and is not ashamed of it. If you own a REAL DOLL this is the costume for you. Thumbs up if you’re a douche bag.
Pussy Cat Liqueor
Now this costume might actually work in attracting women who enjoy getting oral sex. It’s a playful costume that implies tipsiness and has a cheeky double entendre. Who gets sloshed on liqueor? PLUS the name is a fancy frenched up way of saying PUSSY LICKER. This is way better than a “mustache ride shirt” and can be worn by a person of any gender though it may be a bit large for tiny lesbians. I don’t hate this costume, I like it!
Hung Like a Horse
Is this for Cowboys? Is there implied bestiality here? Does the wearer have a pocket full of “cowpoke” jokes? The horse looks so very sad to be involved in this lame ass costume.
Third Leg
This costume not only plays on the term “third leg” it references an old SNL skit. This is the Dream-On-Dude costume for men who watched SNL during the Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Chris Farley era. The skit was a fake ad for Leevi’s Three-Legged Jeans and had a reggae theme of “a leg and a leg and a leg.” I can’t find any good links to a clip of it but trust me, it exists. This, like Great Scott is a good costume to wear if you sorta want to talk about your junk, but don’t want to rub it in anyone’s face.
Dick in the Box
Another SNL skit inspired costume is the Dick in the Box, it’s not punny, but I had to fit this in somewhere. SNL has inspired generations of costumes, Coneheads, Killer Bees, Whats That? It’s Pat. Imagine Dad the wearing the-leg-and-a-leg-and-a-leg and the son wearing the Dick in the Box. Laugh riot at that party, wait till they slip in the Monty Python DVD and regale you with tired over played catch phrases all…Night…LONG. (((( Groan))))
Coming up next, the grand finale Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 4-Honesty