Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 4-Honesty
To educate readers on the the great pantheon of penis-centric costumes I’ve brought you.
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 1-In the beginning for the origins and historical takes on the theme
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 2-Electric Bugaloo which highlighted the many ethnic flavors of wiener-centric costumes
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 3-That’s Not Punny get it, ha ha ha, GET IT
Finally
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 4-Honesty. These costumes ARE dicks, homemade and store bought.
ETSY Penis
This guy deserves an A for effort and a kiss for being so brave and ballsy. The amount of work that went into building this. The shaping of the chicken wire, paper mache and painting on this costume is admirable. His shirt matches so well I wonder if he dyed it? Alas, the placement of the pubes make it look like he threw up and it landed on his balls. I hope he is at a lames ass Halloween party and didn’t just show up at a party looking like this, or wait, maybe that’s even better to crash an Oscar party wearing this. Dude you are way cooler than your friends.
Hats off to you random internet dude in a home made penis costume. You are my fave in all these galleries.
Genital Warts
Talk about honesty! Not only is this guy a big one-dimensional dick, he appears to have genital warts. Was he sentenced to wear this costume as a community service? Look at the walls, you know this is his room, his posters and when he looks at his stacked Butter girl’s privates he knows those are his warts too. I bet Miss Douche bag also wanted to dress up as venereal warts but couldn’t figure out a vagina costume that would show off her boobs. I loathe these two soooo much. He’s got a bright career ahead of him in Nepotism. He’ll propose, she’ll insist on a 2 carat ring. After a honeymoon at SANDALS in Jamaica she’ll keep going to church at Victoria’s Secret, use sex to bargain with and have lesbian fantasies but only about famous women. After having a kid they’ll divorce mainly because “her boobs got weird.” His first Halloween after the divorce he’ll wear DOWN FOR THE COUNT. He’ll be a shitty boss, get remarried to a dumber, younger blond who isn’t allowed to have kids but gets her own BMW. One day he’ll wear the BIG CATCH fisherman costume to work.
Bad Home Job
Ugly, sloppy, hasty. Couldn’t this guy have used clear packing tape? Sometimes foam rubber is just foam rubber. And dude, you look like Beavis, which actually explains a lot.
Penis Man
Imagine the hours of labor it took to make this, to figure out where to place a bouncy cock and where not too. This costume obscures the face of the wearer, most likely on purpose. In the background you can see a human running away from his offered creepy hug.
Dick Head
I’ve seen dickheads before but this one has a matching tie, classy. The model already looks drunk, whatever it takes man, whatever it takes.
Inflatable Penis
Giant inflatable penis costumes are now commercially available. Since this is self inflating I guess you can say it blows itself. Didn’t King Missile do a song called “Inflatable Penis”? Click here to see a video of a kid accepting his diploma in a costume like this.
Professional Mascot Caliber Penis Costume
This costume makes all other penis costumes envious. I have no idea what parade this is but my guess is a it’s a PRIDE FEST event. This professional grade penis costume is not only well made but the smile makes it nonthreatening if a bit manic. In the background, over the dorks right shoulder you can see the same model in another skin tone. YEAH finally, a black one! TRUE ethnic diversity in Halloween Costume for Dicks. Hooray.
Thus concludes Halloween Costumes for Dicks.
Hope you liked them all!
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 1-In the beginning
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 2-Electric Bugaloo