FloGurl chrono-sorbancey™ chronometer for human women.

FloGurl is the groundbreaking wearable from Miss Fidget™ that empowers an active hygienic lifestyle for the human female while she rides the crimson tide. FloGurl’s active sensors and microprocessors calculate the wearers current chrono-sorbancey™ status and display it discretely with the tap of a finger. To maintain optimum chrono-sorbancey™ status while riding the cotton pony the location of the nearest toilet is also indicated.

FloGurl from Miss Fidget allows for optimized usage of feminine hygiene products reducing the carbon footprint of a menstrual cycle and making the world a better place. More importantly FloGurl allows the human female to wear white pants, sneeze, stand up quickly, ‘do the mosh pit’ or swim in shark infested waters without worry of shameful accidents while Aunt Flo is visiting.

With real time updates of their chrono-sorbancey™ status during leak week human females can attain confidence in the uniquely smug way only contemporary personal tech can provide. In a world full of unrealistic media images FloGurl from Miss Fidget is the exorbitant indulgence/necessity that every women needs to feel confident during her moon cycle. FloGurl turns a visit to the red tent into a trip to statusville with the choice of silver ice or rose gold finishes.

Most importantly, wearing the FloGurl silently alerts male humans that the wearer is using tech to monitor her normal healthy bodily functions during red dollar days. The FloGurl wearer is “OK for a girl” not unclean, gross, or bitchy like olde timey females who walked around looking for chocolate with the sanitary equivalent of an analog Shrodinger’s Cat between their knees a few days a month.

FloGurl is compatible with all contemporary feminine sanitary protection – except the cup.