Posted by admin on Oct 28, 2009 in
FASHION,
FOOLERY To educate readers on the the great pantheon of penis-centric costumes I’ve brought you.
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 1-In the beginning for the origins and historical takes on the theme
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 2-Electric Bugaloo which highlighted the many ethnic flavors of wiener-centric costumes
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 3-That’s Not Punny get it, ha ha ha, GET IT
Finally
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 4-Honesty. These costumes ARE dicks, homemade and store bought.
ETSY Penis
This guy deserves an A for effort and a kiss for being so brave and ballsy. The amount of work that went into building this. The shaping of the chicken wire, paper mache and painting on this costume is admirable. His shirt matches so well I wonder if he dyed it? Alas, the placement of the pubes make it look like he threw up and it landed on his balls. I hope he is at a lames ass Halloween party and didn’t just show up at a party looking like this, or wait, maybe that’s even better to crash an Oscar party wearing this. Dude you are way cooler than your friends.
Hats off to you random internet dude in a home made penis costume. You are my fave in all these galleries.
Genital Warts
Talk about honesty! Not only is this guy a big one-dimensional dick, he appears to have genital warts. Was he sentenced to wear this costume as a community service? Look at the walls, you know this is his room, his posters and when he looks at his stacked Butter girl’s privates he knows those are his warts too. I bet Miss Douche bag also wanted to dress up as venereal warts but couldn’t figure out a vagina costume that would show off her boobs. I loathe these two soooo much. He’s got a bright career ahead of him in Nepotism. He’ll propose, she’ll insist on a 2 carat ring. After a honeymoon at SANDALS in Jamaica she’ll keep going to church at Victoria’s Secret, use sex to bargain with and have lesbian fantasies but only about famous women. After having a kid they’ll divorce mainly because “her boobs got weird.” His first Halloween after the divorce he’ll wear DOWN FOR THE COUNT. He’ll be a shitty boss, get remarried to a dumber, younger blond who isn’t allowed to have kids but gets her own BMW. One day he’ll wear the BIG CATCH fisherman costume to work.
Bad Home Job
Ugly, sloppy, hasty. Couldn’t this guy have used clear packing tape? Sometimes foam rubber is just foam rubber. And dude, you look like Beavis, which actually explains a lot.
Penis Man
Imagine the hours of labor it took to make this, to figure out where to place a bouncy cock and where not too. This costume obscures the face of the wearer, most likely on purpose. In the background you can see a human running away from his offered creepy hug.
Dick Head
I’ve seen dickheads before but this one has a matching tie, classy. The model already looks drunk, whatever it takes man, whatever it takes.
Inflatable Penis
Giant inflatable penis costumes are now commercially available. Since this is self inflating I guess you can say it blows itself. Didn’t King Missile do a song called “Inflatable Penis”? Click here to see a video of a kid accepting his diploma in a costume like this.
Professional Mascot Caliber Penis Costume
This costume makes all other penis costumes envious. I have no idea what parade this is but my guess is a it’s a PRIDE FEST event. This professional grade penis costume is not only well made but the smile makes it nonthreatening if a bit manic. In the background, over the dorks right shoulder you can see the same model in another skin tone. YEAH finally, a black one! TRUE ethnic diversity in Halloween Costume for Dicks. Hooray.
Thus concludes Halloween Costumes for Dicks.
Hope you liked them all!
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 1-In the beginning
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 2-Electric Bugaloo
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 3-That’s Not Punny
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 4-Honesty.
Tags: costume
Posted by admin on Oct 27, 2009 in
FASHION,
FOOLERY To educate readers on the the great pantheon of penis-centric costumes I’ve brought you.
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 1-In the beginning for the origins and historical takes on the theme
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 2-Electric Bugaloo which highlighted the many ethnic flavors of wiener-centric costumes
and now I present
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 3-That’s Not Punny
In the great gallery of dick costumes, the double entendre is well represented. These walking puns are less offensive and obvious than other costumes but not all puns are created equal.
Blow Me Bubble Gum
Suggested oral sex is much sweeter than simulated oral sex. However, this costume would be even less threatening if it were “Would ya please” brand instead of the far more direct and downright rude BLOW ME. Though not creepy this costume and the rudeness and implied stickiness is plain icky.
Down For the Count
Ha ha ha, get it? Down for the count is a sports term, ha ha. The inflatable chick is surprisingly comfy to wear while dancing or seated but is no good for driving a car. Is this guy bare legged or is he wearing pink tights? This costume demonstrates the wearer will have sex with inanimate objects and is not ashamed of it. If you own a REAL DOLL this is the costume for you. Thumbs up if you’re a douche bag.
Pussy Cat Liqueor
Now this costume might actually work in attracting women who enjoy getting oral sex. It’s a playful costume that implies tipsiness and has a cheeky double entendre. Who gets sloshed on liqueor? PLUS the name is a fancy frenched up way of saying PUSSY LICKER. This is way better than a “mustache ride shirt” and can be worn by a person of any gender though it may be a bit large for tiny lesbians. I don’t hate this costume, I like it!
Hung Like a Horse
Is this for Cowboys? Is there implied bestiality here? Does the wearer have a pocket full of “cowpoke” jokes? The horse looks so very sad to be involved in this lame ass costume.
Third Leg
This costume not only plays on the term “third leg” it references an old SNL skit. This is the Dream-On-Dude costume for men who watched SNL during the Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Chris Farley era. The skit was a fake ad for Leevi’s Three-Legged Jeans and had a reggae theme of “a leg and a leg and a leg.” I can’t find any good links to a clip of it but trust me, it exists. This, like Great Scott is a good costume to wear if you sorta want to talk about your junk, but don’t want to rub it in anyone’s face.
Dick in the Box
Another SNL skit inspired costume is the Dick in the Box, it’s not punny, but I had to fit this in somewhere. SNL has inspired generations of costumes, Coneheads, Killer Bees, Whats That? It’s Pat. Imagine Dad the wearing the-leg-and-a-leg-and-a-leg and the son wearing the Dick in the Box. Laugh riot at that party, wait till they slip in the Monty Python DVD and regale you with tired over played catch phrases all…Night…LONG. (((( Groan))))
Coming up next, the grand finale Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 4-Honesty
Tags: costume
Posted by admin on Oct 26, 2009 in
FASHION,
FOOLERY There’s apparently a large market for Halloween costumes that feature a man’s wedding tackle.
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 1 featured wiener themed classics like the flasher, the breathalyzer and historical themes.
Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 2-Electric Bugaloo shows there’s a costume for almost every ethnic derivation that wants to creep out the party by calling attention to their private parts. As racially insensitve and offensive as these costumes are none pay homage to the, uh, biggest stereotype in the manhood category.
Longuini and meatballs
The Italian Stallion Dream-on-Dude costume. Like the Breathalyzer in Dicks Part I this costume appears to ride a little high. The idea of someone having edible genitalia is as unnerving as genitalia that floats above the navel. And the curve, the curve is unsettling. This could also be the costume for closeted “Kenny Curvecocks” who want everyone to know penises are like snow flakes, no two are alike. I’m shocked this didn’t have a tuft of chest hair tangled in a gold chain above the t-shirt and a “fuhgedaboudit” button on the apron.
Snake Charmer
The Hindi Dream-on-Dude costume has the icky snake factor on top of the creepy-guy-long-johnson-dream vibe. This is so awful, where do I start? Imagine being on the dance floor and feeling this bump into your back, ewww. Now imagine a lech using the snake to poke up underneath skirts. Look at how the model is leering, is he enjoying wearing this? The only way it could have been more offensive is if the model had darkened his skin. The only good thing about this costume is it promotes ethnic diversity in creeps and the prop is appropriately placed.
Dream of Genie
More ethnic diversity in creeps. The Persian Dream-on-Dude costume is less creepy because it’s less visually literal than Longuini or Snakecharmer but the RUB ME command just smacks of bad touch. This costume looks poorly engineered and badly made. The handle will prevent you from sitting and that crappy foam will crease and fold. Bad bad bad bad. Even the model looks sheepish and ashamed to be wearing this tasteless, ugly piece of crap.
The Big One
The Dream-on-Dude costume for fishermen, or guys with a piercing. This is very similar to the Snake charmer but it’s way less offensive. Could it be fish aren’t spooky? Or that this costume lacks racial undertones? I can totally see old white guys in middle management wearing this. Oh god, your boss wants to tell you the story of the one that got away.
Ringtoss
The Dream-on-Dude costume for carnies! The worst part of this costume is it could be a lot of fun. This costume actually encourages playfulness and promotes interaction, not just a shocked scream and scuttling away. I mean you’re not playing horseshoes, the wearer can thrust and jump and try to help catch the rings. On the right guy, at the right party, this could be a scream. This costume can also be called “My First Strap On.”
Come back again and check out Halloween Costumes for Dicks Part 3, “that’s not punny.”
Tags: costume